A further unlikely source of my skill development as a mediator comes from the fact that I have directed about two dozen theatre productions. You may be thinking that telling people what to do would be more the job of an arbitrator or a judge and I would agree with you. The point is that learning to be a theatre director, whose task is to turn a written text into four dimensional art, I noticed something key. If I told actors what to do, where to stand or how to play a character they would invariably forget. However, when I asked questions, “What do you want?” “Where have you come from?” “Who are you talking to?” they would then remember and I would be much more successful at helping the actors bring the play to life. Asking, not telling.
Besides bombardments of questions, while building a play in rehearsal I had to be sensitive and patient enough to let the action flow without being too controlling. I could challenge them with ‘‘reality checks’ (or ‘believability’ checks because, let’s face it, we all have built in ‘crap’detectors) but ultimately I had to trust that the actors would learn from mistakes and ultimately make the best choices. And that was excellent mediator training; relentless questioning and sensitive listening. This directing experience I bring to each mediation.