‘There are three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies, and statistics.’ (attributed to Benjamin Disraeli)
According to Statistics Canada…’In 2020, there were 42,933 divorces granted in Canada, a sharp decrease from the 56,937 divorces recorded in 2019.’ Is this good news? This is the largest annual drop since the Divorce Act of 1968 came into force. Is this cause for celebration as fewer people are divorcing? The reality is that ‘difficulties accessing courts services during the COVID-19 pandemic likely contributed to this decrease which coincides with the onset of the pandemic.’ COVID strikes again.
What strikes me is that behind each and every one of those enormous numbers was a family going through the worst of it. Raw numbers cannot begin to communicate the painful realities behind the word ‘divorce’.
We can use measurement to investigate reality but nowhere in the statistics is the range of stress and sadness each of these divorces created. How many people managed to divorce without causing lasting negative effects on their children? How many were high conflict divorces? How many ended through litigation? How many took advantage of the benefits of mediation?
Studies may create statistical pictures of the scope of separation and divorce. Alternative dispute resolution through mediation creates the possibility of lasting positive relationships beyond the rift of uncoupling. As a mediator I work with people as people; not numbers.